How to Work with More Ease - Part 2
NEW WAYS OF WORKING CAN OFFER MORE EASE.
This is part two of an article on examining our work practices in order to create more room for ease. You can read part one here.
HABIT 6: ALLOWING A NEGATIVE INTERNAL DIALOGUE TO PERSIST
There are thousands of reasons why we might be prone to negative inner chatter. If you are a solopreneur or spend a lot of your working time alone, it’s especially important to pay attention to the quality of your internal dialogue; you are your own team. While we might be accustomed to speaking to ourselves in a mean or self-judgemental way, it’s simply not okay to allow this kind of relationship-to-self to fuel the work.
I have yet to meet a human that is truly motivated by mean spiritedness. I have never seen my own kids improve their own behavior or show up as a better version of themselves when there are mean words in their midst (admittedly some of them originate from my mouth).
A practice for ease: Offer yourself kind words
Kind words. Can you speak kind words to yourself during the day? Can you choose to shift away from your inner critic towards a gentler, more compassionate voice?
Even if there is a part of you doubting if 100% self kindness is a better way forward, we can all benefit from tipping the balance towards kindness. And this practice isn’t about being inauthentic and plastering on words that feel plastic or untrue, it’s about recognizing you are your own team, and choosing nicer words to say to yourself is far more motivating and uplifting.
HABIT 7: BEING DISMISSIVE OF YOURSELF & YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Hands up if you sometimes find it hard to accept a compliment. And, both hands up if you found yourself in a subsequent moment minimizing the effort and what it took to make it happen.
Sometimes we don’t even notice it, we finish a great blog post or Facebook Live. Or we complete a program with a client who really benefited from our services, and then on we go to the next thing, barely registering the impact we’ve had. It’s a habit that we barely register — we rarely notice that we’re doing good things.
A practice for ease: Find your way of celebrating
I have peers who will celebrate business accomplishments with champagne. Others give themselves a handbag. Personally I’m not motivated by buying myself gifts or giving myself experiences as a way of celebrating my accomplishments in my work so I’ve had to find my own way of celebrating. This may sound cheesy, but for me I need to pause, me-with-me to notice how I am having an impact on others. This may not be your thing, but my way of celebrating and acknowledging my work is to let myself feel that I’m making a difference.
Touching down and tasting the impact you’re having is such an important part of creating ease — and more joy — in your work life. Feeling that your work is making a difference is a cornerstone to why you’re in business and the only person that can help you truly know this is you. Have the courage to celebrate.
HABIT 8: OVER-CONSUMING CONTENT
We sign up for all the courses, we subscribe to all the cool newsletters, we follow all the people, we buy all the books and then listen to podcast after podcast. We’re bloated on content and find learning a guilty pleasure. I’m in this camp with you, so no judgment here, but what we do need to be aware of are a couple of things:
Drowning out your own wisdom by consuming all of someone else’s stuff. Does their wisdom feel more true or right than yours?
Consuming learning consciously, meaning are you applying what you are learning in your business or are you putting off doing the real work of your business or simply procrasti-learning as one my coaches would call it?
Overconsuming content is an expensive habit in business both financially (time and money) and also for our spirit and sense of self — our over-consumption keeps us from seeing that we have so much in us already to give.
A practice for ease: Nourish yourself consciously
There are some alternative practices to consider that may support your voracious desire to learn as well as your desire to have an impact and make a contribution in your work:
One teacher at a time. Are you working with a coach right now? Or taking a course from a teacher you deeply respect? Can you dedicate yourself to exclusively being a good student of this investment for a season.
One course at a time. Perhaps you are taking a course on finding your brand voice and it’s deep work. Can you focus on working through the entire course to really support your desire to find your voice?
Be your own teacher. What if for a season you were your own (and only) teacher? What would allow you to access your own perspective and tap into your unique way of doing things?
HABIT 9: CHASING GOALS
Goals are a massive source of motivation. They keep us focusing on a destination beyond us, one that we are excited to reach which promises us something new. Perhaps we are super keen and focused on getting our new website launched, or maybe we’d like to create a new course by the end of the summer? Or maybe your goal is to add 100 new members to your email list this month. Goals keep us chasing what we have determined is needed for our businesses, and ourselves to flourish. Goals help us grow outwards to something beyond ourselves.
And they often feel otuside of us — somewhere that we can’t quite access… and so we chase. We run towards. We strive. Always going after the thing…
A practice for ease: Growing roots of mastery
A bright woman I was speaking to lately was telling me that she was feeling exhausted by constantly chasing after goals. While we both acknowledged the clarity that can come from having clear goals, she felt a bit lost in the trap of constant goal setting, always looking forward and going beyond herself.
She was looking for depth, for mastery, for a shift in the direction of subtle improvements that came from staying right where she was. She began to explore the idea of setting down roots where she was and gave herself permission to settle into what she was already doing and enjoying the present. Less chasing. More ease. What would it feel like to have deeper roots?
HABIT 10: HYPER FOCUSING ON THE DESTINATION
We are often encouraged to narrow our focus and think single mindedly about where we want to go, shutting out all distractions and as efficiently as we can moving to our destination, however we define it. We are willing to put in the longer hours and later nights, and keep moving forward.
Sometimes this way is called for, in the days before a product is launched is not the time to broaden focus. But holding the view so narrowly on behalf of getting somewhere means we don’t enjoy the road we’re on. We’re crowding it all out.
A practice for ease: Also enjoying the journey
All of these practices above are designed to give you a taste of what it can be like on the journey. We know where we’re going but can we also have ease, fun and joy along the way? Can we also discover and appreciate all the small markers of progress around us? Can we give ourselves permission to find ease in today, to breathe, to go out for a walk and allow ourselves to relax into ease?
Is there a habit you can shift?
Small shifts are all that are needed. Building on and waking up sleepy work habits so that they can offer you a work appropriate way now.
Sometimes all we need to do is re-examine an older way of working and see how it can bring us more of what we want - in this case ease.
I’d love to know if this is something you’ve done. Share in the comments what’s working for you so we can learn from one another.