Why Ease is The Next Frontier of Success
CAN YOU SURRENDER THE STRUGGLE?
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Do you have muscles that are atrophied? You have them, but aren’t using them?
Equally, is there a chance you are overusing some of your muscles?
Let me say it this way: As an accomplished woman you have a host of strengths (skill muscles) that have brought you to the success you have now. And I’m venturing to guess that there are some (skill) muscles that you may not be accessing.
To learn a new kind of success I want to invite you to learn a new way that wakes up sleepy, unused muscles— and one marked with ease, joy and spaciousness — and also one that invites overused strengths to relax.
The Challenges of Uneven Development
Imagine that you only ever exercise your quadriceps and never ever worked out your hamstrings (the back of your legs).
Or you gave lots of attention to your back muscles but neglected your chest muscles.
We’ve all seen the body building images of people with massive upper bodies and sticks for legs. It looks a tad unusual, even unbalanced.
For a muscle to become truly strong it must have a strong opposing muscle as well. If not, injuries, stress on surrounding muscles and uneven physical development will occur.
Similarly, in adult development, and as an accomplished woman, you have a host of ultra strong muscles that you’ve been over-relying upon.
Over-relying upon muscles, especially ones that don’t have their opposing muscle in place is going to feel like burnout, overwhelm, depletion, or low motivation.
In adult development these are signs that other skill muscles must be called upon to support you.
A New Frontier of Success
As a coach and adult development specialist, I think in skills. I scan for skills strengths and what “opposing” or supporting muscles are needed to even out the development. And, this is not the same as developing your “weaknesses.”
Rather the focus is on developing sustainable work and life practices that leverage your strengths by marrying in new skills.
This is actually a very normal part of development. If you are a “grower” and like to learn new things in all-the-ways eventually you’ll reach places where you’ve eked out most of your gains.
It’s akin to repeating your last year of formal education over and over and over again. Eventually you’ll spin out and quest for more.
So the goodness, my friend, is that you are likely at a new frontier of success.
And the even better news is that at this frontier is more ease, joy and spaciousness.
Strengths and Skills You Possess & May Be Overusing
1) You are a productivity goddess
You love being productive and efficient. You’re all about results and maximum output and your to-do list bows to your feet knowing that what goes on it gets done. You’ve learned a ton of hacks, invested in new tools and software, taken courses and listened to books and podcasts all on behalf of getting shit done. You are strong!
Find ease in the next frontier.
Consider that a skill of maximum output must be matched by the skill of maximum input. When your superpower is all about how much you can do, it will reach a point of overuse that will bring you to your knees. One of the best ways you can honor your productivity goddess self is to in invite skills that teach you to resource yourself and revitalize well beyond any kind of self care can and ever will.
2) You can do all the things
You are multi-skilled. A leader, strong communicator, creative, smart, resourceful, adaptable across all the situations, comfortable with technology, a success in a range of industries and roles. You likely possess education in different areas as well. And so when a challenge jumps to the fore you easily tackle it. You are strong.
Find ease in the next frontier.
Just because you can do all the things doesn’t mean you need to (or even should). There are endless options here many of which you’ve likely considered (delegating, asking for helping, prioritizing etc.) The big shift comes from consciously choosing to zero in on the work you love, the work you are a genius at, and the work that brings you great joy. It’s time to surrender into mastery.
3) You are ultra-responsive to everyone’s needs
You see the needs in a situation before anyone and already have a solution in mind. You have an ability to exceed the expectations of others and are quick to implement. You are trusted for your quick fixes, improvements, and meet people where they’re at. You get a trillion stars for this one — all the people around know they can count on you to get their needs met. You are strong.
Find ease in the next frontier.
The shift I invite you to make is to bring this same kind of attunement to learning what your needs are. This isn’t about paying attention to how thirsty or hungry you are, there are deeper needs that lie below the surface. When you get a nudge or hit of intuition this is a need expressing itself. When you’re feeling a tad bit resentful about everyone else’s needs, use this as your invitation to be ultra-responsive with you as well.
4) You possess a strong drive to succeed
You have a drive and motivation that courses through your veins, When it’s pumping hard and furiously you feel alive. It’s the way you know yourself to succeed. When this drive dips, you boost it in any way you can, you self-talk yourself to your own highest standards, you’re tough, competitive and keep yourself on track. You keep your eye on the prize and stay the course. Notice that you have everything in you to get to where you want, no matter the obstacles. You are strong.
Find ease in the next frontier.
Can you see how vested you are in keeping this energy alive? I’ll tell you something, that even in your darkest, hardest low no-motivation moments, it’s still there in you. The next frontier is to vest in making the journey pure delight, source yourself along the way. Focus on making the miles you take to your destination as joy-filled as possible. Let the journey nourish you and fuel you.
5) You fuel your body wisely
You understand that your body needs good care. While it might not happen every single day, or in some seasons (think small humans robbing you of sleep etc.) on balance you aim to take care of your body and maximize performance for its best output. You keep your eye on rest, good nutrition, movement, and have a deep toolkit to care for your body. You are strong.
Find ease in the next frontier.
This is another place of doing enough-ness. Yes, you health practices are still important and this is a place for shift. Popular culture encourages us to coax (or beat into submission) our bodies so they cooperatively support our success. The body is a machine. Or is it? The shift here is to instead see your body as an instrument or a vessel through which success flows. It invites a relationship of deep reverence and respect. Success wants to flow through you, not simply from you.
6) You’ve got your sh*t together
People see you as calm, cool, collected. While you don’t always feel that way, you can in times of challenge keep the feels of life at arm’s length, and stay the course. People wonder how it is that you never seem to truly get your feathers ruffled. It’s not that you don’t feel things, you experience the good and hard emotions like others, but you don’t let them take you out. You know how to stand in the eye of the storm and be productive. You are strong.
Find ease in the next frontier.
It takes a lot of effort to hold life all together. Women who have perfected these skills and ways of being often come see me, a little frayed and apologize for being “messy” or “all over the place”. It’s actually a good thing, because they’re relaxing their control and allowing themselves to feel life. This is a shift that is about doing or managing life versus being IN your life, and allowing yourself to feel it all. Because feelings — all the ones we’ve learned to keep at arm’s length are actually a language, they’re information. Unresourceful feelings suggest needs unmet…. Resourceful and productive emotions say that what you need is in abundance. How cool is that?
Atrophied muscles love attention!
The one thing that is so cool for those who start resistance training for the first time is that their muscles respond so well to being developed.
Consequently, overused muscles rejoice in the break and feel great about not having to do all the work.