Do You Feel Successful?

IT’S TIME TO GET CLEARER ON WHAT SUCCESS MEANS TO YOU.

“When you wake up in the morning and you feel successful whether some end goal is realized or not — that is true success.” — Simon Sinek

This article explores lessons learned about “success”. Everywhere we look we are bombarded with messages reflecting back versions of success. Some inspire, many do not. What matters is that you know what success means for yourself. 

Growing up, I was taught that success meant living your values. Practically. 

At five, my family moved to Mexico for two years where my parents were volunteer teachers. At ten, we moved to India for three years where my parents did volunteer community development work. 

So no surprise that in my twenties I taught nutrition in the shanty towns of Lima, Peru — also as a volunteer.

In these examples success meant putting the needs of others above your own. Service work. The lived experience was rich and payment in itself.

LESSONS LEARNED ON THE JOURNEY

This expression of success has only partially served my business efforts. 

Living in alignment with my values is non-negotiable. 

But this isn’t enough as I’ve learned. What follows are lessons that I’ve mined. I offer them here as fertilizer for your reflections on what is success.

Lesson #1: Success is not selfish.

The Earlier Version of Me (EVOM) was very attuned to the needs of others.

To think of my own needs, therefore, was selfish. It was very much “them” or “me”. 

My first business was highly other-centred. It had many lovely aspects but I felt void of joy, and my spirit was malnourished. And I became exhausted endlessly trying to meet all the needs.

The Current Version of Me (CVOM) honors the EVOM but knows her business must also meet her needs. 

I now believe, that success means meeting the needs of your clients and your own. All needs matter and sometimes choices need to be made, but your needs must be fully considered. 

When your needs are met you are more fueled, fulfilled and nourished to serve your clients’ needs and this allows us to sustain our efforts on behalf of those clients. 

Lesson #2: Your definition of success will evolve.

We are constantly growing. 

The EVOM defined success as having more and doing more. She had the energy, drive and endless goals to fulfill. This worked for her.

The CVOM feels curious about what “enough” feels like and seeks to discover when she feels fully satisfied without needing more. 

Your Earlier Self will hold one definition of success. 

Notice if it’s the same as the one you hold today.

Lesson #3: Success is a feeling and it’s more than that.

The EVOM believed success felt a certain way. That also meant positive feelings we absent success was also lacking. Too many days were experienced as unsuccessful. 

That made for a pretty damning chapter in my business. If I felt like crap the priority became “fixing” myself to get back on track. 

The CVOM is able to enjoy the feel-good moments of business and also understands there will be times of discomfort. The dis-ease is an invitation to be kind to herself. 

Lesson #4: Let your definition of success be an anchor.

When you’re navigating the social media seas and see everyone else’s success without being anchored to your own definition, you’ll get seasick. Every single time.

The EVOM would be enamored with who she was enamored with. Success was outside her in other people. There was lots of comparison.

The CVOM is more curious about what comparison teaches her about her own version of success.

Sometimes it’s still just comparison or envy. Sometimes I see examples of what success isn’t (for me). Sometimes I’m reminded of what’s possible for me. 

Is what you want anchoring you?

Lesson #5: Success includes knowing what you DON’T want.

This one is keenly connected to lesson #4.

The EVOM saw success outside her. If it looked interesting she went after it and made it happen.

The CVOM is more discerning. Curious. She allows herself to feel into her choices to learn if they hold meaning for her. 

This includes paying attention to what success isn’t to her because it helps her anchor more fully to her own definition. 

What have you noticed doesn’t matter to you?

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I hope these reflections help you consider more about what success means to you in the day to day and as you walk to your destination.​

I would love to know what success means to you comment below to reply back with your insights.