Did You Forget What You Accomplished?
I’M CERTAIN YOU’VE DONE A LOT
Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash
The joy of accomplishment is the greatest joy there is.
~ R. G. Letourneau
On a call with one of my dear clients she stated: “I have done a lot, accomplished a lot, and I forget that.” Even as she is building (another) business, she started to see how her present day experience of the “hard work” was informing today’s level (or lack thereof) of confidence.
Can you relate?
Sometimes it doesn’t seem to matter how much we’ve already done, in the moment, all our prior accomplishments are forgotten and inaccessible.
In this article, I share reasons why we may forget what we’ve done, so we can invite a New Way of remembering who we are, and what we’ve done in the past. No matter what new agenda you may be realizing for yourself, you deserve to feel within you, all the truth of what you’re capable of accomplishing. I’ll also offer a practice to support this New Way of remembering.
Five reasons we forget our accomplishments
Reason #1: When we’re in the “heat” of our lives, it’s hard to access our continuum of experiences.
In the moments we most need our confidence and to lean on our past, it seems to be the easiest to forget that we are so much more than moment we’re in. It’s normal when we’re on tricky terrain, to feel wobbly so we’re less able to hold a full view of our capacities.
For my client, with an invitation to scan back on her own history, she notices how she is an accomplished visual artist who not only created beautiful works of art, she also built up her business of bringing her art into the world.
Reason #2: We rush from one accomplishment to another, barely “registering” what we’ve done.
We finish organizing an event, or complete a school term, we make an important hire to our team and before we know it we’re on to the next project. We might not even see these as accomplishments nor consider the impact of our initiatives, instead we feel into the energy and adrenalin of the next thing.
I love me something new. Anything new. Sometimes it can feel inconvenient to celebrate or acknowledge the progress of our work. And as we move quickly to the next thing, gone is an opportunity to appreciate our contribution.
Reason #3: Similar to #2, but on the micro level. Daily, we move quickly from one task to another.
The feeling of a completed task is great. We get one thing done and then move on to the next. Our lists and plans guide are like magnets without opportunity to pause. We keep going and going and going.
This way of working and living being fed by small daily check marks is tricky. On one hand it feels nourishing to see what we’re getting done. But does it truly feed you on a deeper level?
Add to this how we can get to the end of our day and still feel like there is more to do…. we haven’t done enough. Can we slow down even for a moment to be with ourselves?
Reason #4: We allow the moment we’re in to be what’s true about us.
When our confidence is low, or an interaction has left us reeling, or we’re behind on a project, whatever is happening in the moment feels like the truth. It holds a feeling of heaviness whose weight is what’s most true. It’s not and it feels that way.
The intensity defines the moment and we find it difficult to shift out of this intensity and remember more about ourselves.
Reason #5: The impact we’re making in people’s lives doesn’t touch our heart space.
Whether you’re managing people, teaching humans, raising kids, it doesn’t matter, the work we do with people is hard to acknowledge even on our to do lists. And the work with humans is rarely ever “done”… it’s a relationship after all.
We may also be prone to paying attention to the impact we’re having on the humans we care for and support lest we allow for that dangerous sense of pride we were taught to avoid at all cost.
Amongst these reasons, I wonder if you grew up being rewarded for what you do. It was amassing the accomplishments — the more the better. Where did we ever learn how to relish in the sweet taste of it?
How does one even start to register or internalize all their accomplishments?
What follows is a practice that I’ve developed for just this purpose. It’s based on this one that I learned from one of my own coaching teachers.
The Practice of Consciously Completing
What is conscious completion? The way I define it, is to complete a task, with presence and self-appreciation. It’s a way of interrupting the ways as named earlier.
Do this practice upon completion of an important task, or at the end of your work day/week, it will only take about 3–5 minutes to do it. And less the more you do it.
Pause. With eyes closed, scan back to “look at” and acknowledge what you just did, including the work that went into the task at hand. This “registers” what you did mentally.
Say out loud (or quietly to yourself), what you’ve done or accomplished. Allow yourself to hear you, expressing what you’ve done.
Next, take a big inhale, filling your body full with your breath, and then with a big exhale release whatever your body might be holding from having been so intently in the task. This acknowledges our bodies that are always present with us in the work.
Move to your heart space. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel about the task. It might be relief from a task done, or satisfaction, or gratitude or frustration or appreciation — whatever you’re feeling is just right. Allow yourself to register your emotional contribution.
Finally, check in with yourself. Do you sense you’ve honored your experience and what you’ve done today? Go back over the practice and repeat, as needed, any part of this practice.
I’ll be honest. Doing this practice once might not feel like it’s made a difference. At least it doesn’t for me. This practice however, starts to shift our way of working, and completing tasks helps us notice on a more embodied level the experience of accomplishment.
Over time, we can embrace a New Way that makes our accomplishments more accessible especially for those moments we’re in the work and have forgotten.
I’ll be really curious how this practice supports you. If this practice resonates or you have your own version I’d love to learn about it, be share it in the comments below.